Sooooo I did my first walk for the final. I stripped down in a friends backyard and walked around. I liked the way the cold air felt against my skin. It was far less painful than I had originally thought. I was scared to be cold. Its a stupid fear. The slightest discomfort sends me into a mini panic and I can't do anything until its alleviated. Even as I write this I find my self feeling frustrated about thh headache I have. My head is pounding and every little noise sounds ten times its volume to me. I kind of like to put myself in uncomfortable situations for the sake of art. My body has played a large role in my artwork for the past five years. I have had eating disorders and body image issues all throughout university and it is only now, in my fifth year that I can safely say that this is behind me. I can go outside. I can handle the cold. I can appreciate the response of my body to the cold. I can look in the mirror and I can sleep soundly, completely naked.
For years these were things that I thought I would never do. I felt that, due to my freakishly shaped body that I was not allowed to feel sexy. I was less than every other woman with her narrow waist and perfect hips. Now I can appreciate these beautiful women in a way I thought I never would. Maybe there are people out there who like a tall lanky girl with small boobs and broad shoulders? Yes, I am sure there are.
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